Hey there, I'm Holly and I've been in recovery from substance abuse for many years now. I got clean and sober when I was in my early 20's, and realised that food became the thing I spent all my time thinking about.
Because I was vain and wanted to also be as thin as possible, I started dieting, restricting, fasting, using compulsive exercise, abusing narcotics and prescription medication and starving myself as "damage control" to keep my weight in check from my binge eating.
I thought I had a binge eating issue, I thought I had bulimia, I thought I had anorexia- when what I had was really food addiction. And all those other things I was doing, was me trying to control my food intake and body through getting rid of it or not eating at all, for fear that once I started I would not be able to stop eating.
Once I put away my drug foods and learned how to manage my eating, all of those "symptoms" have vanished.
Now in retrospect, I see that food was my first and primary addiction that came way before the drugs and alcohol. My brain had already been primed for addiction through sugar, flour and processed foods.
I first got introduced to abstinence based recovery from food addiction when I was 24 years old, in a 12 step program. While it worked- I lost weight and stopped bingeing, I then got obsessed with being underweight.- and missed the point of the whole recovery program.
This again, made me obsess over food and the food addiction was back in session.
Recovery from food addiction can and likely will results in weight loss, however that is not the focus. The focus is to live a sober, sane life where food is not center stage. However it is also to be mindful that excess weight loss and fixation on the number on the scale are equally as dangerous for the addict as eating addictively is.
I've learned through my experience that recovery from addictive eating has to be focused on eating nourishing food abundantly which keeps me at a healthy body weight, and keeps my hunger at bay so that food is not on my mind.
Today, I am a Certified Integrative Health Coach, Ashati Energy Healer, and Mindfulness Meditation Guide, studying to become an Addiction Counsellor, and I embrace the 12 steps. I also am in Talent Acquisition for a global tech organisation- and I get to show up for life without worrying about food or my body.
I created my business to help women who struggle with food addiction, and are looking of ways to recover beyond a 12 step group. I love the 12 steps and practice it daily, but I know it is not for everyone and it's okay. You can still recover. Recovery is not linear.
If you are ready to embark on this wonderful journey, I invite you to sign up for one of my programs. Together, we can recover.